Do you remember melancholy?
I’m sure you do, it was all we had.
It was a basket of bad news,
Wrapped in all we couldn’t take.
It became a bad habit of ours,
Like a way of life that chose us instead.
Its good to look back on such a thing,
As why we felt ever so jaded.
Dancing in despair made us smile somehow,
So I don’t regret a thing we did.
Yet in the light of another day I see,
That being this is this being we are.
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Its short but I cant write any more
P.S: "Ah, les bons vieux temps ou nous etions si malheureux" is a french proverb that means "Ah, the good old times when we were so unhappy."
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Heh, like Sleeping Valor said, I can't help but fix your title. I looked at it and couldn't understand it. Oo
les bons vieux temps ou nous etions si malheureux
It needs some accents: Les bons vieux temps où nous étions si malheureux.
If you have Windows you can get the ù with alt + 151 and é with alt + 130. I'm also not sure about the last part. Si means if. Where did you find this proverb?
The poem is nice, I liked it. I don't have a whole lot to complain about, other than the last line. It makes no sense to me. It kind of does, but I think you're better off simplifying it.
=P Aww man. And here I thought it was french. *goes to an all french school*
This is a nice sweet poem. I especially liked the first bit. I didn't see any grammar problems either. Sorry this isn't a helpful crit, I just figured since I read it I would let you know I liked it. Great work!
^_^ Keek!
(Also, you probably don't have a french keyboard but the 'ou' without an accent actually means 'or'. *thought the poem had two different titles* =P Doesn't really matter though.)
Do you remember melancholy?
You're a great writer, and I love this poem. Did I repeat myself? Whatever.
You're a great writer! CONTINUE WRITING!
I’m sure you do, it was all we had.
It was a basket of bad news,
Wrapped in all we couldn’t take.
It became a bad habit of ours,
Like a way of life that chose us instead. - Oooh.
Its good to look back on such a thing,
As why we felt ever so jaded. - get rid of 'ever'
Dancing in despair made us smile somehow,
So I don’t regret a thing we did.
Yet in the light of another day I see,
That being this is this being we are.
Aww. Wow. I liked this poem. How you wrote it is absoloutely lovely. By the way, tu parle francais? Je ne parle pas francais beacoup, mais, je parle bon.
it's interesting and i like the idea but it didn't really capture me. the tone as lovely but because it's so general it seems too light.