Ah, les bons vieux temps ou nous etions si malheureux.

Do you remember melancholy?
I’m sure you do, it was all we had.
It was a basket of bad news,
Wrapped in all we couldn’t take.
It became a bad habit of ours,
Like a way of life that chose us instead.


Its good to look back on such a thing,
As why we felt ever so jaded.
Dancing in despair made us smile somehow,
So I don’t regret a thing we did.
Yet in the light of another day I see,
That being this is this being we are.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Its short but I cant write any more

P.S: "Ah, les bons vieux temps ou nous etions si malheureux" is a french proverb that means "Ah, the good old times when we were so unhappy."

Comments & reviews · 5
Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

User avatar
Emerson
Review
Emerson wrote a review · Fri Feb 01, 2008 3:24 pm

Heh, like Sleeping Valor said, I can't help but fix your title. I looked at it and couldn't understand it. Oo

les bons vieux temps ou nous etions si malheureux

It needs some accents: Les bons vieux temps où nous étions si malheureux.

If you have Windows you can get the ù with alt + 151 and é with alt + 130. I'm also not sure about the last part. Si means if. Where did you find this proverb?


The poem is nice, I liked it. I don't have a whole lot to complain about, other than the last line. It makes no sense to me. It kind of does, but I think you're better off simplifying it.

=P Aww man. And here I thought it was french. *goes to an all french school*

This is a nice sweet poem. I especially liked the first bit. I didn't see any grammar problems either. Sorry this isn't a helpful crit, I just figured since I read it I would let you know I liked it. Great work!


^_^ Keek!

(Also, you probably don't have a french keyboard but the 'ou' without an accent actually means 'or'. *thought the poem had two different titles* =P Doesn't really matter though.)

Do you remember melancholy?
I’m sure you do, it was all we had.
It was a basket of bad news,
Wrapped in all we couldn’t take.
It became a bad habit of ours,
Like a way of life that chose us instead. - Oooh.


Its good to look back on such a thing,
As why we felt ever so jaded. - get rid of 'ever'
Dancing in despair made us smile somehow,
So I don’t regret a thing we did.
Yet in the light of another day I see,
That being this is this being we are.


Aww. Wow. I liked this poem. How you wrote it is absoloutely lovely. By the way, tu parle francais? Je ne parle pas francais beacoup, mais, je parle bon. :) You're a great writer, and I love this poem. Did I repeat myself? Whatever. :) You're a great writer! CONTINUE WRITING!

User avatar
convintojm
Comment

it's interesting and i like the idea but it didn't really capture me. the tone as lovely but because it's so general it seems too light.



That's how we should measure our lives. Not in distance traveled, or time passed, or worlds conquered, but in moments... and the rush of joy—of grace—that exists within them.
— Megatron (Lost Light, by Roberts, Lawrence, Lafuente)